A New Day
by LeaO'Neill
Summary: Jack discovers a secret from Nicki's past that could change everything.


A New Day

By Lea O'Neill

Rated:PG 13

Season: eight

Summary:Jack finds out about a secret from Nicki's past that will change everything, including their relationship  
  
Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The original characters, situations and story are property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without author consent.  
  
Thanks to Bonnie, my beta, the best!

* * *

A New Day  
  
Jack was sleeping soundly, sound and restful sleep, when something yanked him out of it. He wasn't sure, as he rolled over groggily, what it was exactly, but something tore his subconscious from its REM sleep back into wakefulness.  
  
Jack lay in the dark, trying to figure out why he was now closer to being fully awake than he had been moments ago, when it came again. A pitiful weeping; crying beside him.  
  
Jack came more fully awake. Nicole had her back to him, but he could see her in the dim light filtering through the window. Her shoulders were shaking, her breath coming in gasps.  
  
Jack sat up, immediately concerned. He leaned over and saw her face, tear streaked and wet. But her eyes were closed.  
  
She must be having a nightmare, he deduced. While he watched, again came the whimpering that had awakened him. He put his arm over her and pulled his body close against hers.  
  
"Sssshhhhh," he soothed. He smoothed her hair back from her face and found it damp with sweat. "It's okay," he whispered close to her ear, hoping his voice would comfort her back to peaceful sleep without awakening her.  
  
What, he wondered, could be causing her such distress in her sleep?  
  
She'd had many things in her life that could certainly cause nightmares, Jack knew. She'd been wounded in Iraq, then months later her helicopter shot down leaving her as the sole survivor; she'd been in the Pentagon when the terrorist controlled aircraft crashed into the Washington building on 9/11; wounded again on her first voyage through the Star Gate; and she'd been raped by a Colonel, her commanding officer at the time. Any of that would be enough to cause anyone nightmares.  
  
Jack held Nicki close to him, and gradually her crying and shaking subsided, her breathing returning to a normal rhythmic pattern.  
  
Jack hadn't been home in several days. He wondered if she'd been doing this long. He'd noticed she looked tired today, upon his arrival back through the Gate. He would question her about it in the morning. Maybe she needed to go back to see Dr McKenzie.  
  
Jack drifted back to sleep, holding Nicki, but pushing the worry to the back of his mind.  
  
Jack awoke again, after a solid six more hours of sleep. He'd been exhausted from his last few days off world. He discovered he was alone in the bed. Remembering Nicki's tumultuous sleep, he rolled out of bed and slid into his pajama bottoms that were on a chair. He could smell the coffee. Yep, that'd be her. Up early, drinking coffee.  
Jack padded through the house barefoot and bare chested. She was sitting by the dining room window, the sun streaming through. Nicki was wrapped in her fluffy cream-colored bathrobe, her yellow coffee cup that boasted the logo "Pilots Do It At Mach 2" in hand. She was staring out the window, her knees tucked under her.  
"Hey you," he greeted softly from the doorway, coming into the warm sunlit room.  
She turned and smiled, a somewhat weary smile, Jack thought. "Hiya," she returned.  
"You're up early."

"I know. Couldn't sleep."

Jack wondered if her pain was increasing again. Now that she'd been off prescription narcotics for some time, Jack knew that was something she battled often. He went up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. She put her own on top of his.  
"You okay?" he asked.  
Nicki nodded. "A little tired. I guess I didn't sleep much while you were gone."

"You had a nightmare last night," he told her then.

She didn't look surprised. "Usually I just wake myself up. Sorry."

"You, uh, wanna talk about it?"

Nicki shook her head again, "No." Then, standing up, "Coffee?"

He nodded, noticing how much of a hurry she'd been in to get out of that one. He decided to let it slide. When she wanted to talk, he knew she would.

* * *

Distantly, another light sleeper was awake in the dark. He was surfing the net. Specifically, looking at Air Force base websites. So much had been made protected with the Homeland security program, but the practiced hacker knew how to get around most of these obstacles to find what he wanted. The computer in his father's office, correction, make that late stepfather, had been a source of his navigations for some time. He'd become diligent at what he was looking for. Sure enough; he found what he'd been seeking for many days. The color photo of the pretty blonde woman in Major's regalia smiled out from the screen. Major Nicole Walker. Yep, that had to be her. Right age, right name. He grabbed a disk from inside the desk drawer. Didn't matter what. No one needed the junk now and it was only a matter of time until it was all packed up and cleared out anyway. He inserted the disk and copied the information onto it. Then he exited the programs, turned off the power and took the disk with him. No time like the pres ent to get started on his journey.

* * *

Several Days Later……  
  
In the busy hustle and bustle of the Petersen Air Force base on a Tuesday morning, one would have thought that a 12-year-old boy wandering from building to building would have caught more attention. But the security alert had been lowered, and tours were being let back into the base. Some of these were from school systems, so no one questioned the wayward 'tourist' as long as he remained in public access areas. The sandy haired boy, with a light dash of freckles across the bridge of his nose, casually strolled up to the desk of the Sergeant in the Andrews building. "Excuse me," he politely addressed the sergeant.  
The young Air Force sergeant glanced up from his work.  
"Can I help you?" "I'm looking for someone who works here." The sergeant frowned. "You mean an Air Force officer?" The boy nodded. He told the name to the Sergeant. "My mom's waiting for me in the car," he fudged, seeing the suspicion in the officer's eyes. "We really need to find her friend." The story was believable enough to the Sergeant. "Mmm. Sounds kind of familiar. Let me check with Personnel." He made a quick call.  
After hanging up, he looked over the desk at the boy with jeans and a blue windbreaker.  
"Sorry, but you're in the wrong place. You need to go to Cheyenne Mountain." The boy glanced at his various maps of the military bases in Colorado Springs. "Okay," he said. "Thanks." The sergeant stared after the boy, wondering what was so important on the child's mind. He shrugged. Not his problem.

* * *

Cheyenne Mountain was a little more difficult to obtain access into. Not as easy as sneaking on a school bus with a bunch of other sixth graders. But where there was a will, there was a way. And the boy found it by hanging out around the supply depot. He overheard the Airmen who were getting ready to drive a load up to "the Mountain".  
And then it was as simple as sneaking into the truck, which was a canvas covered open back supply vehicle. He found a spot to wedge himself in between the crates and waited. He'd been waiting a long time. A little while longer wasn't going to hurt anything. He knew that there was the possibility of discovery, what with the base security and all. He could only hope that if a search was conducted, he could at least convince them to take him to Major Walker.  
  
The ride was not as bad as some the boy had taken on his past four-day journey to Colorado Springs. A brief search of the vehicle was made at the entrance to Cheyenne Mountain, but the armed MP's at the gate were familiar with the Petersen servicemen making the delivery and only did a cursory inspection on the load. Justin remained hidden.  
  
Major Nicole Walker-O'Neill was giving a tour of NORAD to some Colorado Springs businessmen. It was part of her job description.  
  
"Blast Valves, installed in reinforced concrete bulkheads, have been placed in the exhaust and air intake supply, as well as water, fuel, and sewer lines. Sensors at the North and South Portal entrances will detect overpressure waves from a nuclear explosion, causing the valves to close and protect the complex. All of the buildings in the complex are mounted on 1,319 steel springs, each weighing approximately 1,000 pounds. The springs allow the complex to move 12 inches in any one direction. To make the complex self-sufficient, adequate space in the complex is devoted to support functions. A dining facility, medical facility with dental office, pharmacy and a medical unit with inpatient bed facilities; two physical fitness centers with exercise equipment and sauna; a small base exchange, chapel, and barber shop are all located within the complex." Nicole had to take a breath as she tried to make the techno babble sound appealing. She walked as she talked, followed by a group of men in suits.  
  
Folding her hands behind her back, she continued.  
  
"Within the complex are all the utility systems necessary to make the facility functional. The primary supply of electrical power is supplied by the City of Colorado Springs. The secondary source or back-up power supply is provided by six 1,750 kilowatt, 2,800 horse-powered diesel generators.  
  
Water for the complex comes from an underground water supply inside Cheyenne Mountain. Today, 30,000 to 120,000 gallons of water is deposited into four excavated reservoirs. Three of these reservoirs serve as industrial reservoirs and the remaining reservoir serves as the complex's primary domestic water source. All four reservoirs have the capacity to store 1.5 million gallons of water."  
  
Some of the men took notes. Some nodded with bored patience. Some simply followed Nicole, ogling her legs.  
  
It wasn't until she had almost completed the tour that Nicole noticed a young boy had taken up with the group. Hmmm. He certainly wasn't with the Colorado Business Association. Must be a straggler from a school field trip. Funny, she didn't remember any being booked for today.  
  
"Well, thank you gentlemen for your attention. Sergeant Gilroy will escort you back to the main building where Lt. Colonel De Ambrose will join you for brunch." The men graciously thanked Major O'Neill for her time, while she kept an eye on the boy, who was patiently studying a map on the wall, as if waiting.  
When the group was finally gone, the boy remained.  
  
Nicole walked over to the boy, her heels clicking on the highly polished floor.  
"Hello?" she said, drawing his attention.  
  
The boy with bright green eyes turned toward her, studying her face.  
"Somehow I don't think you're with those guys," she said with a smile, gesturing toward the retreat of suits.  
He shook his head. He studied her uniform and ID.  
"Can I help you with anything?" Nicole asked, bending down slightly to his level.  
"I was told I could find Major Walker here," he said. He had a pleasant voice and mannerism about him. Nicki noticed he carried a black backpack, like the ones used for schoolbooks.  
She nodded. "I'm Major Walker," she confirmed, wondering who had decided to pawn their kid off on her.  
"Your name badge says 'O'Neill'." She glanced down. "It does, doesn't it? O'Neill is my married name. " He nodded, seeming satisfied with that explanation. "Do you have an office around here?" he asked then.  
Nicole was a little taken by surprise by that one. "Well, yes, I do. Down the hall." "Can we go there?" he asked.  
She was becoming very curious about the strange boy.  
"Well, okay. Are you sure someone's not looking for you? I don't need to call gate security do I?" He shook his head, his face showing no fear. Nicole shrugged and led the way to her office.  
They went inside. The boy studied the office with practiced care. He set his backpack on the chair in front of Nicole's desk.  
She stood by, watching him. Her mind was full of questions, but he seemed like he was enjoying this, so, what could it hurt?" He looked at the number of textbooks on her shelf. Then his eyes were drawn to her desk, where several framed photographs stood. He picked one up, his eyes glancing first at Nicki, as if to ask her permission. She just smiled.  
"That's my husband," Nicki told him, of the picture he held. It was a photo of her and Jack, taken about two years ago. He looked at the next. It was of a chubby baby with wispy blond hair in a pink dress.  
"That's our daughter," she explained.  
The boy nodded. "She's pretty. What's her name?" 

"Charlotte," Nicki told him. She realized she didn't even know his name yet.  
He moved back around and took the chair next to his backpack.  
"So," Nicki said, moving around the desk to her chair. "Are you ready to tell me why you're here on a school day, when there's no field trips on the base?"  
  
He nodded. He dug into the backpack and took out a worn envelope, which was stuffed with papers. He passed it across the desk to Nicole.  
"I came all the way from Virginia," he said at the same time. "It was a long trip." Nicki frowned and opened the envelope. There were many legal looking papers, plus some handwritten notes on stationary, and a birth certificate.  
Nicole clearly saw her signature on the document. The papers fell from her hands and she stared at the boy.  
  
"I found that stuff a couple of months ago, and I've been trying to find you ever since. You are her, aren't you?" he asked, his face begging that the answer be positive. "You are my mom? Right?"

* * *

Brigadier General Jack O'Neill knew he should have stayed home. He was stuck in his office completing paperwork that should have been done a week ago. Being stuck in the office while most of the teams were off world on a new project at the Alpha Site was not his idea of a good time.  
He glanced at the clock. The morning seemed to be dragging. He wondered if anyone would miss him if he snuck up to Nicki's office for lunch.  
He completed the task he had been working on all morning, and gave up. He was starving. He'd swing by the cafeteria and pick up some lunch, then go find his wife.

* * *

Nicole had carefully reviewed the paperwork given to her by the boy, whom now she knew his name was Justin. Justin Michael Warren. That was the name printed on the adoption papers. Martha and Gregory Warren had adopted him on August 23, when he was just two days old. Nicole studied the signature on the birth certificate, and on the papers giving custody of the boy to the state of Virginia. Her eyes filled with tears as she recalled the day of August 21. It didn't even seem real to her anymore…….  
  
_The sun shone brightly through the hospital window as a young auburn haired woman held her baby for the first and last time. She had counted his tiny fingers and toes. She had inhaled deeply the scent of his skin. She had caressed his cheek, memorizing the contours with her finger. And the she had handed him to the nurse, turning away so the other woman wouldn't see her tears. At the time, a young, single Lieutenant in the Air Force, Nicole Walker had no place in her life for a child. And no way to raise him. Her orders had come in days before. She was going back to Iraq. Dessert Storm had waited for her. Even though the child's father had not. The only way she'd managed to keep her commissioned rank, after the unexpected pregnancy, was due to General Hightower, a friend of her father's, who'd essentially covered for her and put her on medical leave for the last six months. But now, her leave was over. As she'd promised the General, she was giving the baby up and returning to her duty as a pilot. Her promise to him had cost her another four-year term. She was beginning to think that, like her father, the military would be her life.  
Nicole's only hope was that her son would have a better life than she could offer. She was quite confident at that time that she would never come back to the states alive. Who could leave a child to that?  
And there was no one to turn to. Her father had died two years ago, leaving a hole she had never been able to fill. Her mother had been gone since she was young. Michael had been no help. He couldn't do anything for her from where he was stationed in Iran. The Lieutenant with the 41st division Marine Corps didn't even know she'd had the baby. Nicole wouldn't be able to tell him for another three months. By then, what was done was done. How was Nicki to have known then that only days after telling the baby's father, his squad would be in a transport truck that was shelled and almost everyone, including Michael, killed. There was no way…..  
  
_Just like now, there was no way of knowing how fate would have turned......  
  
The boy, Justin, waited patiently as Nicole held the papers in shaking hands while her mind drifted back. "So, that's right, isn't it?" he finally asked, snapping Nicole back to the present.  
She slowly nodded. "I guess it is." 

"They told me you were a soldier. So was my dad. And that he died. Is that true?"

Nicki nodded again. A lump had formed in her throat and she was afraid to speak.  
He shrugged. "It took a long time to get here," he reiterated.  
"H…how?"

"I took a bus."

"How did you find these things?"

"Well, Martha, that's my adoptive mom, but I guess you know that, she had all that stuff in her closet. Then Mrs. Watson found it when they were cleaning out the house after the accident."

Nicki paled. "What…accident?"

"Martha and Greg. They died in a car accident about three months ago. Mrs. Watson, she was my nanny, she kept me as long as she could, but the state wouldn't give her custody. But she told me maybe if I found you, that you could do something about it. She gave me money out of my account."

The astounding child and the current state of events was slowly overwhelming Nicole.  
"So I looked you up on the internet. It was easy really; once I knew your name and that you were in the Air Force. They've got a whole web site. Some of it was protected, but I got around that after awhile."

Nicole knew that indeed the boy was right.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come. I mean, you have a family already and everything…" Nicole was overcome by emotion then and got off her chair, going around the desk, tears streaming down her face. She offered her arms to Justin, and was almost surprised when he came into them.  
And like it was yesterday when she had first held him, her heart opened up to her son and the one missing piece of her life was suddenly replaced.

* * *

Jack got a tray of food, some kind of meat loaf which he covered with gravy, mashed potatoes which looked more like grits, again, covering these with gravy, some sort of green vegetable he couldn't identify, and two bowls of red Jello, the only redeeming thing in the serving line. He planned on carrying this up to Nicki's office, where hopefully they could eat in peace.  
  
He made his way up, rapped on her door and went inside. He noticed that she was not alone.  
  
"Hi," Jack said, to the boy who was sitting in the chair.  
Nicki had regained some of her composure and was about to place some difficult phone calls. Although she knew Mrs. Watson, the nanny had gotten the right idea, she had gone about it the wrong way and now Justin was probably reported as a runaway by the state.  
Now Jack had come in. Nicole put down the phone. Justin stood up and offered his hand. Jack balanced the tray of food in one hand and took the boy's.  
"I'm Justin," he said.  
"Nice to meet you Justin. I'm Jack." Justin nodded.  
Jack glanced at Nicki with a raised eyebrow. He set the food down on her desk. He noticed Justin eyed the fare hopefully.  
"You hungry Justin?" The boy nodded.  
"Well, help yourself." 

Nicki stood then. "Jack, we need to talk."

"Okay." He watched as the kid hungrily devoured the meatloaf like he hadn't eaten in days. Jack wondered who he was.  
Nicki took Jack's arm.  
"We'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" she told Justin. He nodded, his mouth full. "Don't go anywhere," she added. Again a nod.  
Nicki led Jack out of her office and, turning right, they walked down the hall.  
"Who's the kid? You babysitting again?" Jack asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.  
"Uh, Jack, we…I have to tell you…" she struggled to find words. How could she just blurt out the fact that she'd neglected to mention over the past few years that she had another child?  
They went to a secluded alcove off the lobby. "Maybe we better sit," Nicki suggested.  
Jack was becoming curious. Nicki seemed incredibly serious. She was gnawing on her bottom lip. She only did that when she had something on her mind. Maybe it had something to do with her nightmares.  
Jack took a chair and Nicki perched on the edge of another.  
"Okay, what's going on?"

"I need to tell you something. I didn't try to hide it from you, but it just never came up."

Jack raised an eyebrow.  
"Jack, twelve years ago, I was in love. I told you about Michael."

Jack nodded. "He was killed in the Gulf."

She nodded in return. "He was. But…"

Jack glanced down the hall. He thought about the boy with Nicki's same color of hair and green eyes. He swallowed. "Are you trying to say…" he could not put into words what was forming in his mind.

"I think that Justin is my son." 

Jack felt like he'd been stabbed in the gut. So many things he had overlooked in Nicki's past…so much pain, so many incidents swept under the carpet…. but this? She had given up a child? Jack remained quiet, staring silently at the tiled floor.  
"Jack, please say something."

"What would you like me to say?" he asked slowly, each word clipped evenly.  
Nicole knew he was churning inside. "I knew he had a good home. I never thought he'd try to find me. At least not until he was older…they were good people, they had money, a nice home. He would have had a great life…"

"But?" Jack inquired. At least he should know why the boy had turned up now.  
"They were killed in an accident."

Jack nodded. He was filled with unspoken silent emotions toward his wife, not all of it pleasant.  
"Look, Jack, I know you're upset. Please, can you give this some time? I want to talk to you about this, but not here."

Jack nodded. This was not the place or the time to deal with the things he wanted to say, and needed to hear.  
He stood up, all thoughts of food forgotten. "I think I'll go back to the SGC."

Nicki stood as well. "Jack please. I… we…" she couldn't find the words she needed to communicate what was going on in her mind and heart.

Jack wasn't in the frame of mind to hear them either. He began to walk down the corridor. He just had no idea how to feel. Nicki stared after his rigid form until he got into the elevator without looking back. She slowly walked back to her office. How had things gotten this unsettled this quickly?

CHAPTER TWO  
  
Daniel Jackson had arrived back through the Stargate before the rest of his team. He had as much work to do in his office as he had at the Alpha Site. But he knew he had made a lot of progress. That was some satisfaction. Daniel went looking for Jack to give him a briefing, as well as to check on his friend. Jack spent most of his time now flying a desk in his new office, and Daniel knew it was hard for him. However, Daniel also knew that old injuries were making it harder for Jack to work in the field. Along with the promotion and the fact that now 'General' Jack O'Neill was in charge of the SGC. Of course, now that Jack had Nicki and CJ, he was dealing with his pending 'retirement' a little better than he might have a few years ago. Daniel whistled while he strolled toward Jack's office. He had always tried to look on the bright side. He knew he'd be thankful to have a family to go home to.  
He rapped on the door, and then opened it. He glanced around, but no Jack. He shrugged and proceeded with his search.  
Before long, Daniel had exhausted places Jack usually frequented. He wasn't in his SGC quarters; he wasn't in the infirmary (though they all tried to stay away from there as much as possible); not in the mapping room or briefing area; he wasn't in the gym or the cafeteria; Daniel called up to NORAD, figuring Jack must be in Nicki's office. He got her voice mail.  
Daniel hung up the phone and finally began asking around, airmen, sergeants, even medical staff, if anyone had seen Jack.  
"I saw him heading up toward the obs. room a couple of hours ago," Sergeant Dickson was finally able to tell Daniel.  
Daniel sighed. Jeeze, when Jack didn't want to be found, he was sure good at hiding. Daniel began the hike to the room where hundreds of screen monitored telescopic and satellite images of planets, stars, or whatever else you might want to look at. Daniel saw that Jack was indeed in the observatory, the many screens showing distant images of the dark galaxy of stars. Daniel paused at the door, as if somehow opening it and going inside would intrude into Jack's peaceful stargazing.  
"Don't just stand there," Jack's voice echoed through the vast emptiness. 'Come on in." 

He'd caught a glimpse of Daniel's reflection in one of the monitors.  
Daniel wandered in then. He wondered what was weighing so much on Jack's mind that it had sent him here in the middle of the day.  
"Hi," Daniel greeted.  
Jack, who was semi reclined in the leather office chair, swiveled a bit to see his friend.  
'Hey Danny. How's the Alpha Site?"

Daniel shrugged, putting his hands back in his pockets, leaning against one of the counters. "Well, there's some interesting developments, but I'm kind of interested in your project. 'Deep space telemetry' is it?" he asked, tongue in cheek.  
Jack didn't even crack a smile. "Something like that."

"Everything okay?" Daniel asked then, noting a hint of a strain in Jack's voice.  
"Not really."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

Daniel nodded and just sat, quietly. He knew Jack well enough to know that if his old friend really did want to talk about it, he would. If not, no threat of torture would make him speak his mind.  
"What would you do Danny, if someone you loved lied to you?" Jack finally asked, turning back to his glass galaxy. "I don't mean a little white lie. Something big. Life changing maybe."

Daniel raised an eyebrow. He thought for a moment, searching for some words. "I guess it would depend on how it affected my relationship with that person." He was assuming Jack was referring to Nicki, but he didn't want to broach her name just yet.

"It would affect it a lot."

"Then I suppose I would want to know why they lied. If it was to protect someone else, or even you, from getting hurt." Daniel immediately thought about Nicki's tumultuous past. Dear God, he hoped it wasn't an affair.

"But if the end doesn't justify the means, how do you just blatantly trust someone again?"

"I can honestly say, I don't know Jack."

They sat in silence for a time.

"You want to tell me what happened?"

Jack sighed. It was a tired sigh. Daniel had heard it before.

"She's got another child Daniel. A son. About eleven I guess."

That was certainly unexpected. Daniel took off his glasses. He waited for Jack to continue.

"Apparently she gave him up for adoption. His father was killed in Dessert Storm."

"How'd you find out?" Daniel asked.  
"He's here. Showed up today. The adoptive family was killed in an accident. Kid found the adoption papers I guess. Came looking for Nicki."

"On his own?" Daniel asked incredulously.

Jack nodded.

Daniel took a moment to think about the situation. He could see some of the many reasons Jack was upset. Daniel knew Jack valued nothing higher than the life of a child, especially after his own tragedy. He couldn't fathom the reasons someone might give up their own. For Nicki not to have told Jack, he felt betrayed by his very belief system and the person closest to him, whom he transferred that system to by proxy. On the other hand, Daniel could also rationalize Nicole's probable reasoning. She must have been devastated by the loss of the father. She would have been in the height of her career, a pilot who probably expected that she herself might not survive the then current conflict. She probably expected the child would have a better life than she could ever provide as a single parent in the military. Hoping these things to be true, she moved on. Maybe she had planned to tell Jack. Maybe she was afraid of the outcome. Or of wanting something she couldn't have.

"Have you asked her why?" he finally asked Jack.  
The General shook his head. "We haven't really gotten than far. I kinda needed some time to think."

Translation: one or both of them, being hot headed, had stormed off. Daniel knew from experience. "I'd at least hear what she has to say," he said with a shrug.  
Jack had known Daniel would eventually say that. Maybe that's why he'd opened up. He'd needed to hear it. Jack stood finally from the chair. "Yeah."

* * *

Nicki had left the base, taking Justin with her. She was still so overwhelmed by the whole turn of events; she wasn't really sure what to say to the boy. She kept glancing at him, as if he might disappear from the passenger seat of the Mustang on the quiet ride from Cheyenne Mountain.  
The first thing she had done was make a series of phone calls to Virginia. She had contacted the nanny, Evelyn Watson, who was so happy she burst into tears when she heard Justin's voice. She was also thrilled that he'd actually found Nicole. She told Nicole she'd never expected him to actually go off on his own in search of his birth mother. When she'd last talked to Justin, they'd talked about the possibility of hiring an investigator to find Nicole. That, she said, was why she'd given him money. When his state appointed guardian had told Ms Watson that Justin was missing, she'd been heartsick, fearing that her good intentions had in some way led the boy to harm.  
After reassuring Ms Watson that Justin was in good hands, Nicole got the name of his state guardian, what she assumed was the equivalent of a parole officer. The woman sounded stern and was extremely upset when Nicole contacted her. She began throwing out terms like kidnapping and crossing state lines. It took several minutes of venting before she even became aware of what Nicole was trying to tell her.  
Finally, after much convincing that she was who she said she was, and also using the name of the NORAD commanding officer, as well as her attorney, Nicole convinced the guardian that Justin was in good hands and that the legalities would be worked out as soon as possible. Nicole introduced Justin to Mrs. Grandy the nanny, and then to Charlotte. The bubbly 2 year old toddled right up to Justin and said 

" Hi, bubba".

Nicki smiled.  
"Well, she seems to like you," she remarked.

Justin took some time to look around the house, taking in Jack's collection of fishing apparatus; looking at Jack and Nicki's displayed medals over the mantle; taking time to look at each photo framed and mounted on the wall, saying nothing, but noticing everything. Nicki mainly watched, too overwhelmed to say much herself. Finally, she decided she'd better go clean up the spare room, which she and Jack used mostly as an office. She left Charlotte safely confined in the den by the safety gate and went to the back room.  
She put up all the 'office work' in the roll top desk and shut it, then made the bed fresh. She had just finished when she felt herself being watched. She turned and found Justin in the doorway.  
She smiled. "Well, it's a little cluttered, but I think you'll be comfortable for now."

Justin walked over and sat on the bed. "What should I call you?" he asked then.  
Nicki swallowed hard. That was indeed a difficult question. How could she ask the boy to call her 'mom', when he'd met her only today, when he'd called someone else that for eleven years?

She sat down beside him. "Well, what do you want to call me?" she asked him.  
He kind of shrugged. "Well, Jack calls you Nicki right?"

She nodded.  
"Could I maybe call you that?" he asked, eyes on the floor.

She smiled, though it tore at her heart. "Of course." 

"How long will I be able to stay here?"

Nicki was heartsick. Evidently he was assuming she didn't want him. He was planning on being returned to Virginia. She didn't know what the courts would say either. It was kind of up in the air. With tears in the corners of her eyes, she put her arm around his shoulders. "We have a long road ahead of us, but I know how long I want you to stay."

He looked curiously into her eyes.

"Forever," she whispered.

* * *

Jack drove home slowly from Cheyenne Mountain. He'd stayed late, accomplishing little. He was trying so hard to understand and to come up with words for Nicki. And he wondered what would happen now? Did he have any say in the matter? Would she even ask, or go on doing things the way she'd done before: her way.  
Jack sighed. That sounded bitter, even in his mind. He finally came to something of a conclusion that it would do nothing but tear them apart if he continued to hold against her something from the past. What was happening now was what he knew he needed to focus on. What was best for the child, that's what had to be done. He knew all this in his heart. He just wondered how he'd be able to communicate it to his wife. 

Jack entered the house as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake anyone, especially CJ, who'd taken to being a light sleeper and would creep into Jack and Nicki's room when she awoke. He put up his keys and went down the hall. He could see faint light from under the master bedroom door.  
As custom, Jack peeked in on the nursery and his sleeping blonde headed baby girl. She was snuggled with her "banky" and "bobo", loosely translated to blanket and bear. He crept back out of the room like he was in stealth mode.  
Only then did Jack notice a soft light coming from the spare room. Of course, Nicki would have put Justin up in there. He went to the bedroom/office.  
Justin was awake, reading by flashlight. Jack softly knocked on the partially open door and went inside.  
Justin looked up, an almost guilty look on his face. "I couldn't sleep," he hurriedly explained. Jack saw that the book was an old one of his, a book with many photos of jets.  
Jack gave him a tired smile. "My dad always said my eyes would go bad reading by flashlight."

He clicked on the bedside table lamp and the room was bathed in a soft glow.  
"But you're a pilot, right?" Justin inquired.  
Jack nodded, then shrugged. "Used to be."

"So your eyes were okay?"

Jack had to smile with amusement. "Yeah. I guess they were."

They stared at each other for a moment, before Jack turned to go. Would his son have read by flashlight long after bedtime? Would he have had such philosophical discussions with Jack? These answers he'd never know, but this first exchange with Justin wasn't at all unpleasant. With caution leading though, Jack was reluctant to let his feelings register in his heart.  
"Nicki says I might stay a while," Justin told Jack then, stopping his retreat.  
Jack nodded, not knowing what to say. He presumed there were some legal matters to work out. "But she said you guys would have to work it out."

Jack nodded. "Yeah," he replied.

"I don't wanna cause any trouble," Justin said, his eyes falling to the beige carpet. "I know you're mad at her cause of me."

Jack felt like he'd been hit in the gut. He went back toward the bed and sat down on the foot.  
"I'm not 'mad' at her. I guess I just was…surprised."

"Cause she didn't tell you about me?"

Jack nodded.

"She didn't tell me either," Justin said matter of factly. "But it was okay. I guess she just thought it was better that way."

Kids, Jack mused, always had a simple way to solve a difficult problem.

"We'll work it out," jack assured him.

"Why do you love her?" Again, the depth of the boy's question took Jack aback.  
"I mean, you've known her a lot longer than I have. She seems real nice and all, but why'd you fall in love with Nicki?"

Jack kind of shrugged. He thought for a moment, putting into words what his memories of falling in love might have been. "Well, she's beautiful, and smart; a lot smarter than me, but don't tell her that. She's got a kind heart. She's had some rough times. She's strong. She gives a hundred percent to everything. She's…" Jack thought for a moment. "Everything I had ever looked for."

Justin nodded, seeming satisfied with the answer.

"Well," Jack finally said, rising to go. "Don't stay up too late."

The sandy haired boy nodded.

Jack went to the master bedroom. Upon opening the door, he smelled the sweet steam from the bathroom, where Nicki had just finished a shower. The air was bathed in a soft perfume of citrus scented shampoo and lavender body wash. Jack adored those smells. He thought about how he adored his wife; it was her smell as he held her close at night.  
Nicki emerged from the adjoining bathroom, wrapped in a white terry cloth robe, her still damp hair hanging loosely in dark blond tendrils around her shoulders. She saw Jack standing there. "Hey you," he said quietly.  
"Hiya," she returned, in an equally subdued voice. She wasn't sure where she stood with Jack just then.  
Jack was stubborn. Always had been. And he'd married and equally stubborn woman. Neither moved. They both knew that they each wanted the other to make the first move. And they also knew that putting their pride aside was the only way to communicate. But neither was ready to admit that just yet.  
"You're awfully late," Nicki finally said, rather nonchalantly, as she dried her hair with a towel.  
Jack shrugged, trying to pretend he didn't want to hold her. "Lot of work." He was still angry for the deception, but it would do not good to argue about it. "You, uh, get anything worked out?" he cocked his head toward the bedroom door.  
Nicki knew he meant relative to Justin. She went back into the bedroom to apply her facial moisturizer and brush out her hair. "A little. It's complicated." 

Jack was hoping more explanation would be forthcoming. Nicki offered none.  
When she emerged again from the bathroom and got into bed and still offered no more, Jack took his turn in the bathroom, changing into pajama bottoms and a tee shirt. Why was she being so infuriating? Couldn't she just tell him everything? Just what was she trying to prove. Jack had about made up his mind to tell Nicki just exactly what he thought about all this while he brushed his teeth.

Ready for round two, Jack came out of the bathroom. He found Nicki had turned off the lamp and lay in bed, covers drawn up, facing the wall. She had effectively shut him out. And that was just how Jack felt. She wasn't including him in any of this. By keeping secrets, and now by physically and emotionally keeping him away, she was only affirming his initial conclusion: she didn't want him as a part of this. Well, fine.  
Jack left the bedroom. He knew he was too irritated to sleep. He ventured into the den instead.  
He put in his Simpson's tape and flopped on the couch. He would watch a bit of TV, he thought, and then go to bed when his mind had calmed down a bit.  
At least, that was the plan. Nicki heard Jack leave the room in what she knew was frustration. She too was still upset by his anger, but understood it. And, she felt, by drawing him in any deeper into her problems, she would just end up hurting him. Wasn't it better that she just worked all this out? Why would Jack want to be a part of this mess she'd created. She would just have to get through it.  
She expected Jack to come to bed later, but when he didn't, Nicki assumed he was angrier than even she'd thought. She cried herself into a tumultuous sleep, filled with new nightmares; dreams of her semi-perfect life falling apart. When Jack woke up in the early dawn, he found himself sore and uncomfortable. He'd fallen asleep on the couch. He groaned and rolled into a sitting position. Glancing to the clock, he saw it was past time for him to be ready for work at the SGC. Fine example the new Brigadier General was setting, arriving late at least twice a week.  
He made his way stiffly to the bedroom. The bed was already made and Nicki long gone. "Great," he sighed. She was sure to be upset today. He hadn't meant to fall asleep on the sofa, but she wouldn't take it that way, he was sure.  
  
Jack dressed and was preparing to leave. Mrs. Grandy was in the kitchen making Charlotte's breakfast. Justin was still sleeping.  
Jack passed through long enough to give his daughter a kiss and grab a cup of coffee. "Nicki say anything this morning?" he asked the nanny.  
"Well, that she'd be back early and to pack some things for the baby. Something about a flight?" the older woman set down CJ's scrambled eggs. 

Jack's heart jumped. Just what exactly was Nicki thinking?  
He raced to work, cussing the security measures that had traffic backed up at the Cheyenne gate. Jack didn't even head for the SGC. He went straight to NORAD.

"I'm sorry General," the secretary told him. "Major O'Neill had an early meeting with General Reynolds, and then left again."

Jack spun on his heel. Reynolds, a former SG-3 team leader who'd been recently promoted, had taken the NORAD command and was now Nicki's CO. Jack found his office in time to meet Reynolds coming out.  
"Morning Jack," the fellow General greeted.  
"Was Nicole here?"

Reynolds nodded, taken aback by his old friend's abruptness. "She was."

"Well, do you know where she went?"

Again, startled, Reynolds shrugged. "I'm assuming she left the base. She took two weeks."

"What?"

"She requested a two week LOA. You didn't know?"

Jack shook his head. She'd said nothing about a leave of absence. He was already headed back the way he'd come, leaving Reynolds standing, coffee cup in hand, staring after O'Neill.

"General Jack O'Neill, please report to SGC." He was being paged. Jack cussed. He headed for the elevator reluctantly, instead of back to the parking lot. He knew that Nicki was upset. He also knew they had things to work out. But he also had responsibilities being the CO of the SGC. He decided that he'd quickly 'Band-Aid' whatever situation needed attending to at the Stargate Command, then return home, hopefully in time to catch his wife before she left, presumably for Virginia. CHAPTER THREE  
  
It took Jack longer than he would have imagined getting the problems at the SGC squared away. He left as soon as it was possible, but he knew it might already be too late. He called home from his cell as soon as he left the Mountain. There was no answer. Not a good sign. He called Mrs. Grandy at her home. When she answered, his heart fell.  
"Alice, it's Jack. Did Nicki take the baby?" The nanny, sounding a bit confused, answered. 

"Well, yes. She took Charlotte and Justin when she left for the airport."

"When was that?"

"Oh, about half past nine I guess."

Jack glanced at his watch. It was almost eleven.  
He curtly hung up on the nanny, making a mental note to apologize later. He called Petersen.  
Identifying himself as Brigadier General O'Neill, he asked the base clerk for a list of flights out this morning. He had a good idea where Nicki was going.  
"We have three out for the DC/Virginia area, sir," the clerk told him. "One departed at 0845, one is preparing for takeoff now, and one for Arlington at 1145 hours, sir."

Jack pressed his foot on the accelerator. He knew he'd never make it in time to stop her. Dammit, he just wanted to talk. He knew he needed to listen. But so did she.  
Sure enough, just as Jack made it onto the base, he saw the 747 take off. Jack could only stand next to his Ford, now parked just beyond the base gates and watch as his family, his whole life, departed into the blue sky.

* * *

Nicki was subdued on the military 'space available' flight. Charlotte was fairly good, occupied with some books and snacks in her car seat buckled into the airplane seat. Justin was nervous, but seemed excited as well. Nicki had told him once she'd arrived back home that they were going to Arlington to take care of all the legal formalities involved in his staying with her permanently. She tired to put on a brave face, but inside she was in turmoil. Jack should be with them. She wanted him here. Yet, she felt he was still angry with her, and she didn't know if he could ever forgive her. Pushing Jack away might not have been the right thing to do, but what was done was done, wasn't it? And maybe she was saving him pain. Certainly Justin, who was only a year or two older than Charlie when he died, would be a strong reminder to Jack of a son he no longer had. If Nicki wasn't able to get custody of Justin, what would it do to her much less Jack? He hadn't even had a chance to grow attached to the boy. But Nicki had felt an instant, undeniable bond with this boy, this child with whom she'd missed first steps and first words and first day of school, and so many other things that could never be relived. Nicki only hoped that it wasn't too late to regain some of the time she'd lost with her son.

* * *

"We have to get that disk back," the man in the gray suit said to his partner in the blue suit. Tracking down Justin hadn't been too difficult, but getting near him around the military security had been something else. Even after arriving on a commercial flight into Arlington, they knew the airport would be a difficult place to get at the kid. They watched from a distance while Nicki unloaded bags from the carousel onto a luggage cart, a long with a car seat. The kid held the baby.  
"There, that black backpack," the taller of the two wearing blue noted. "That's the kids'." 

They watched as Nicki set the backpack on the luggage cart, then started moving toward the doors.  
The two men moved. Nicki, pushing the luggage, and Justin with CJ made their way out to the cars where Nicole had reserved a rental.

* * *

Jack had to pull a few strings to make it onto the next flight. Okay, maybe this new title gave him a little pull. And for something like this, he used it. His flight would get in only a bit after Nicole's. He would find out where she was staying by calling the credit card company as soon as he landed to see where she'd made reservations. Just before takeoff, his cell phone rang.  
"Jack, where are you?" It was Daniel.  
"I've got some stuff to take care of." 

"Well, who's running the show while you're away?" Jack hadn't thought of that. This new job sure did entail a lot of responsibility. "Well, Carter I guess."

"Sir!" Carter piped up, sounding startled. He was on speakerphone.  
"Look, Carter, I'm sure you can handle one day without me. Until I get back, you're in charge."

"But Sir," Carter started to protest.  
"Look, I've got to get off now. The flight attendant is giving me dirty looks."

"Flight attendant? Sir, where are you-?"

"Bye Carter, Daniel. Call me if something blows up, or someone tries to take over the world, OK?" He hit the End button and turned off his power.

* * *

Nicki was loading her bags into the rental Ford. CJ was already buckled into her seat inside. Justin took his backpack and prepared to get in as well.  
That was when the two men descended on them. One went for Justin's pack, while to other came at Nicki for distraction.  
Now although the two had the element of surprise in the parking structure, Nicki was still and always a solider. When she realized that her family was in danger, the adrenaline rushed. As the tall man in the blue suit attempted to grab at her, she let go with a roundhouse kick that landed squarely in his solar plexus, sending him reeling back. She whirled and saw the other man, this one in a gray suit and slightly shorter, grabbing at her son. She deflected his grab with an elbow to his forearm, followed by the same elbow thrusting up to hit him in the throat, leaving him gasping for air. 

The first was back, and wrapped an arm around Nicki's neck, attempting to hold her. She tucked her head, pulled down on his arm, and dropped her body, using his weight against him and unbalancing his stance so she easily flipped him over her and onto the concrete. Nicki opened the car door and essentially threw Justin into the car, locking the doors after him. CJ was screaming inside.  
Once she knew her children were only slightly safer, Nicki turned back toward the attackers. The second, recovering from her elbow, had already tried the driver's side doors, finding them secured, came back at Nicki, on the passenger side, although more cautiously.

"Just hand over the disk and you won't get hurt," he said.

Nicole had no idea what he was talking about, but was prepared to fend off any further attacks, standing beside the car in a fighter's stance. It was then that loud sirens cut through the air. Airport security had been alerted of the altercation and several uniformed officers were running full speed from the terminal toward the parking structure, while a military patrol car sped through the parking structure toward the fight. The men glanced at the advancing security and took off on foot. Two security officers took quick pursuit after them, while the other two stopped and stayed with Nicki.

* * *

When Jack O'Neill deplaned, about twenty minutes after the attack, he had no idea what was going on in the airport, but it was chaotic. Security was ten fold and seemed to be looking for someone. People were being carefully monitored as they left. Something had sure caused a disturbance. Jack was on his way to get a car when out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Nicole holding CJ and an arm wrapped around Justin. They were in a cordoned off Java Juice Hut. She was flanked by two Air Force airmen and two airport security officers and she was speaking to someone important looking in a suit who in turn was giving information over a two way radio.  
Jack didn't think twice before sprinting over to the scene. Only to have a security officer bar his way.  
"That's my wife!" he demanded, loud enough that everyone, including Nicki, heard him. She waved the officers off and Jack was allowed inside.  
Only then, on seeing her husband, did Nicki's hard resolve and tough bravado crumble. She fell into his strong arms, CJ grinning and grabbing at his collar.  
"What's going on?" he asked, showing both the security and the Air Force personnel his military ID.  
The man in the suit with the radio was head of security for the Transportation Security Administration and explained to Jack the parking lot incident, leaving out much except the fact that Nicole had essentially kicked ass. And that as of yet, the two would be thieves had yet to be captured. Jack could see what a toll all the days' events were taking on Nicki. Her mouth was drawn into a tight line. CJ was restless and cranky. Justin looked about in the same condition.  
"Look, if there isn't anything else you'll be needing, I'm going to get my family out of here." 

"Certainly. We'll be in contact for anything further, General. Will you need an escort to your hotel?"

Jack shook his head. "No. We'll be fine. Thanks."  
  
And with that, Jack led everyone back to the car. He got Charlotte buckled in and comfortable so she might nap. "You doin' okay, bud?" he asked Justin, who slid in next to CJ.  
The boy nodded and gave Jack a halfhearted smile.  
Jack got in the driver's seat and finally looked, really looked, at Nicki.  
"You okay?" he asked softly.  
She sighed and shook her head. She felt like crying, but wouldn't let down her defenses that much yet. "How'd you show up like that? How did you find us?" she asked wearily.  
Jack shrugged. "Did you really think I'd just let you go like that? I know we've got some stuff to work out, but dammit Nic, I wasn't gonna just let you run off and handle everything alone."

She smiled a little.

"Let's get out of here," he suggested.  
Jack drove to the hotel where Nicki told him she had made reservations, just as he'd presumed earlier. CJ slept. Justin too dozed through the busy Arlington traffic. And Jack kept one hand securely over Nicki's.

* * *

Once things had gotten settled in at the hotel, CJ tucked in for her afternoon nap, and a room service delivered lunch on the table, Jack looked first at Nicki, then at Justin.  
"Okay, so someone want to fill me in on what's going on? What was all that about at the airport? Who were those men?" 

Nicki shrugged. " Honestly I don't know." She told Jack her version of the entire incident again.  
"What disk?" Jack asked.  
Again, Nicki could only shrug.  
During the time, Justin had been quiet, eating a few French fries, his eyes darting between Jack and Nicki. He quietly reached down to the floor and dug into his backpack. He slowly laid the computer disk on the table. "Maybe…maybe this?" he asked sheepishly. He was afraid he was really in big trouble now.  
"What's this?" Nicki asked, picking up the red colored disk.  
He shrugged. "Well, I got it from my dad-I mean Greg's office when I was looking you up on the computer. I downloaded some information from the Air Force web site, for in case I needed it later."

He shrugged. "I thought it was just an old disk of his."

"What else is on it?" Jack asked.  
Justin shrugged. "I didn't look. I just figured Mrs. Watson was going to box up all his office stuff anyway."

Nicki met Jack's eyes. "Jack, he worked for the government."

"In what capacity?"

"I'm not really sure."

They looked at Justin.  
"Greg was a security analyst," he said. "He'd just gotten promoted about a year ago. He looked at a lot of computer stuff, programs and Internet junk. Checking for things that might be about terrorism." He shrugged.

Jack considered what Justin had told them. "We need to see what's on that disk." Justin reached into his bag again and pulled out a lap top computer. Both Nicki and Jack looked at him again.  
Justin shrugged. "He taught me a lot about computers. They gave me this for Christmas."  
  
The disk Justin had taken from Greg's desk was exactly what Jack had suspected. It was proof that Greg had been gathering about a suspected internal link to a group in the US that was connected a branch of Al Qaeda. Greg, a private contractor, had been working with the Terrorist Threat Integration Center, the interagency that consolidates threat information  
  
For several months, the U.S. government had been picking up reports from its spies, electronic intercepts and "liaison services" (friendly intelligence services) of an Al Qaeda plot to strike the American homeland before the November election. High-level Al Qaeda operatives had been traveling from around the world to the outlaw wilds along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, apparently to meet and plan. The U.S. government cannot come right out and admit this, but following the old rule of waiting and watching may not be tenable, given how little the intelligence community really knows about Al Qaeda and its possible presence inside the United States. But in Washington, officials argued that keeping a low profile—by, for instance, alerting just the security officers for the targeted institutions—wouldn't work. The story would inevitably leak and cause an even bigger fuss because the government would be accused of hiding dangers from the public. From the information collected on the disk, it looked like Greg was trying to make the story public

. "You really think someone inside was trying to keep him from putting this information out?" Nicki asked, horrified by what that idea might mean.

"Anything's possible I suppose," Jack mused, not wanting to believe that himself. But Jack of all people knew just how vicious agencies like the CIA could be. There was the distinct possibility that Greg and his wife had been killed to keep the government's secrets. "I'm calling General Hammond," Jack said decisively.

* * *

A little over an hour later, General O'Neill sat in the Washington DC office of General Hammond, who was joined by several other representatives of the National Security Administration and the Terrorist Threat Integration Center. Jack explained the situation, pulling up the information from the computer disk for emphasis.  
Worried faces, including that of George Hammond looked over Jack's shoulder. 

"This is certainly something to look into," Richard Sherman, of the TTIC, essentially Greg Reardon's former boss, said with deep concern. "We have been reviewing possibly security leaks inside our company, especially our independent contractors. I will have a team working on this immediately."

"With all the rumors flying about possible attacks related to the upcoming elections, we need to get a handle on this immediately," General Hammond reiterated. "I'm going to call Don and begin working on this immediately."

Jack knew George was referring to Donald Rumsfield, Secretary of Defense. Well, things certainly got around quickly in Washington.

* * *

Nicki, Justin and CJ waited at the hotel, two armed airmen from Andrews Air Force base outside the door. Jack had secured a post for the men before leaving the room for Hammond's office. He considered the situation serious enough to deem it necessary.  
Nicki used the time to make phone calls. Her attorney had arranged for an emergency custody hearing. She hung up the phone, handing CJ a cookie. 

"It's all set," she told Justin, who was halfheartedly watching the Disney Channel. He looked at her anxiously.  
"We'll meet with the judge first thing in the morning. I'm sure under the circumstances, everyone will agree that you and I should be together."

She sat down on the couch next to the boy, still feeling a little awkward about the overwhelming feelings of affection she had for him. It was so strange after all the years she'd missed, Nicki felt like she'd never been away from him. In truth though, she knew they both were somewhat confused.

"Are you sure?" he asked her; his large green eyes gazed up at her. "What if Jack doesn't like me?"

Nicki had to smile with amusement. "There's no need to worry about that. Jack loves kids. He's just got a lot on his mind right now. We'll get it all worked out."

Justin played with the block Charlotte brought him for a few moments before she took possession of it again and tottered off to see what else was in her bag.  
"I used to wonder what you looked like," he told her then. "At night, I'd lay awake sometimes. I made you up a million times in my head, what you looked like, what you did, why…" he stopped suddenly, realizing that what he wanted to ask would probably hurt Nicki.  
"Why I gave you up?" she finished softly, her eyes pooling.  
"I didn't mean-"

She shook her head. "It's okay. It's a fair question. It deserves an answer." She tried to keep the glycerin like tears from running down her cheeks as she gave him the only answer she could. "I didn't think I deserved you. I thought someone else could give you a better life." "Why?" he asked, his head tilted.  
Nicki could only shrug. How could a boy understand her life then? Reckless, wild, and dangerous; a steady stream of adrenaline and bad choices that got worse before it got better. Especially after Michael died. Nicki had barely cared what happened to her then; what would she have done with a child?

"I didn't know how to take care of myself. I couldn't have taken care of you. I didn't have any of the things I have now. And I knew I was going into the war in Iraq. I never expected to come home. I almost didn't."

And on returning, things had not improved. She spent more time trying to forget the past than trying to make a future, blaming herself and justifying the poor decisions she made.  
"Nothing really good ever happened in my life after you until I met Jack. And somehow then, everything seemed to fall into place. I had a permanent job assignment, someone who loved me, a real home. I didn't have any of that back then. I wasn't the same person."

He nodded, seeming to understand. "Martha and Greg were really good to me," he told her then. And the first tears since the death of his adoptive parents fell.

Nicki took her son in her arms and they both cried together then. CJ came up to the couch in a few moments. "Mommy sad?" she asked.  
It caused both Nicki and Justin to look up and manage a smile through the tears.  
"No baby," Nicki told the two year old. "Mommy's happy to have her two babies." She scooped up the toddler and the three sat together, Nicki securely holding them on either side of her.

* * *

"Jack, this has to be hard on your family." George Hammond and his former 2IC, now his counterpart, stood together in the empty office where a few minutes ago there had been a flurry of activity including a phone call to the White House. Jack had filled him in on all the details surrounding the discovery of the disk in the first place, Justin's relationship to Nicole. That coupled with the national security concerns were more than enough for one week, Jack agreed.  
"I think until all this gets sorted out, it would be a good idea for you to take some time away with them," Hammond told him. Jack raised an eyebrow. "You of all people George know how hard it is to get away from the SGC. No one to fill my size 10's." 

Hammond clasped his hands behind his back, staring out his window, a view of the green manicured lawn and the Washington monument in the distance. "Well, there is a certain General who's familiar with operations at Cheyenne Mountain who might be more than happy to fill in for, say a couple of weeks?"

O'Neill grinned at Hammond. "Well, if you insist."

* * *

Jack and Nicki lay in bed that evening. Jack had told Nicki the outcome of the meeting that being a heightened state of national security, two arrests inside the private company that Greg Reardon had been employed with, working for the government. And the entire matter released to the press. An investigation had been opened surrounding the deaths of Greg and Martha Reardon but still the National Security Agency was denying any wrongdoing or cover-up. Nicki was relieved that there was some sort of resolution, even if it was a larger problem that would be left to the government and security agencies to deal with. The walls she'd manufactured to keep Jack out had come crumbling down when she had seen how supportive and protective he was, not only with her but also with Justin. She let him cradle her in his arms in the hotel bed. 

"I'm sorry I acted so stupid…stubborn," she told him. "I was afraid. I was afraid to let you in, in case you didn't want in after all and started looking for the way out."

"Nicki, I was stubborn too. And foolish. We're in this mix together. Whatever happens to you happens to me. We'll be okay."

"And tomorrow? At the custody hearing?" she wondered out loud.  
"We're gonna go in there and tell them exactly why we should be Justin's parents."

Nicki fell asleep in Jack's strong arms, a slight smile on her face. She slept peacefully, and her dreams were those of happiness. No night terrors or cries marred her or Jack's restful, healing sleep.

Jack met the morning with some reservation. As he showered, he thought about the coming morning's events. He wanted nothing more than his wife's happiness. And Justin's. They were family. Her family was his family. But still, he had such deep reserve in his heart. It was an awful pain, in fact, but he refused to give it that name. There would be temporary custody granted, he was sure of that. Any judge in the world would almost certainly give custody to the birth mother over a foster family. But then, there would be more in depth investigations to determine the conditions in which Justin would be living.

People from the Child Welfare Bureau would come to the house in Colorado Springs. They would want to know about Nicki's job, about Jack's. They would dig into Nicki's past. And into his. Although Nicole had a somewhat spotty record with the military, her personal life had stayed 'off the record'. Jack's personal life, however, had been splashed across the front pages of the paper. He'd already been investigated by government agencies. Children Youth and Family Services had been on his doorstep on an almost daily basis; as if the death of his son had not been price enough to pay. He had to wait for strangers to tell him he was 'innocent' in the tragic 'accident'. All words he was tired of hearing. As if someone else could ever punish him any more than he had punished himself.

No, Jack was worried that he might cause Nicole to lose her son. He would never stand for that. Never. But that was down the rather long road that was still ahead of them. Today was just a stepping stone. Jack re dressed in his uniform, the only clothes he had with him. He went into the bedroom, where Nicki was dressing. She had on her blue skirt and short-sleeved light blue uniform shirt. She was brushing lint off her jacket. He could see the tension in her face.  
"Hey," he said, coming close beside her.  
Nicki looked up.

"We're going to be okay," he assured her, although doubts flooded his own mind.

She gave him a brief smile. "I know," she said, wondering herself if she believed it.  
So, prepared for the worst but hoping for the best, the General, Major, and two well groomed children headed for the Arlington courthouse.

* * *

Prologue…..  
  
Jack, in blue jeans, a white tee shirt, and plaid flannel over shirt, watched from the deck as his wife and daughter walked beside the lake. The two blonde heads shone brightly in the sun's rays. It was a sight he'd never dared to hope for and now cherished it, burning the scene like a photograph in his mind. He couldn't wait to take them on long walks in the woods; show Charlotte a dandelion in full bloom; sit and drink beer with Nicki in the evening on the deck over looking the calm crystalline water, and spend time getting to know his new son.  
"Is this all the stuff?" Justin, similarly outfitted, came out of the cabin onto the wood deck. He carried two fishing poles and a tackle box. 

Jack thought about taking time on the banks of the lake, teaching the boy how to fish, talking, sharing things that he'd never been given the chance to share with his own son. Now he had been given a second chance. He didn't plan on loosing any time.

Justin had been placed in Nicole and Jack's custody by the Arlington judge for a six month period, in which time, as Jack expected, a full inquiry into the O'Neill's would be conducted to make sure that Justin's well-being was first and foremost. But as Jack had told Nicki that day, they were in for the long haul together and would take this new road one day at a time. Every day was a new day.

Jack took a quick inventory. He grinned. "Yup. Looks like you got everything. Ready to go drown some worms?"

"Yeayoubetcha," Justin replied, with a grin.

Jack had to grin. Kid just might turn out all right. 


End file.
